Pet Peeves of Dancing
Posted by chrissyfer on February 2, 2009
Traveling around and dancing in different scenes I have noticed some things that both leads and follows do which can make a dance awkward for either person. Here are several pet peeves of mine in no particular order.
1) Wearing black dress shoes and white socks…drives me nuts. Also dancing in shorts while wearing dress shoes and white socks pulled up. I’m sorry but the aesthetics are just very displeasing to me
2) Asking a person to dance by grabbing their arm or hand and walking them out onto the floor without actually asking them. This is just extremely rude and usually involves a person who you don’t really know doing it. Guys are the people who I see do this the most but I have seen some instances where ladies do this as well.
3) Lindy Hop is not just about you on the dance floor and how good you look. This is a partnered dance and is about your ability to dance with each other. If a person is unable to follow what you lead or is extremely thrown off when you attempt to do some musicality please take a moment to consider that they may be uncomfortable with what you are doing or that something is wrong with what you are attempting to do.
4) This last one is aimed mostly at follows but can apply to both roles. Please do not assume that you know what the leader is going to lead next.Followers please don’t also rush through your steps. Just because you think you might know what you are supposed to do next don’t do unless led into it. This can lead to A.B.G’s and/or awkward confusion between both people. This can be prevented by leads leading clearly and committing to whatever it is that you choose to do. Do not switch moves halfway through another one.
5) Personal space…..You know that little bubble which everyone has called their personal space? Well that still exists when you are out on the dance floor. People should not feel like they are being violated while dancing with another person. Please take the hint that if it seems that your partner is trying to create space that you may want to give them some.
These are just a couple which have always bugged me and that I have experienced or seen happen lately. What are some of your own pet peeves?
This entry was posted on February 2, 2009 at 12:49 am and is filed under Personal Dance Thoughts and History. Tagged: bad, dancing, form, partner, peeves, pet, social. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Nina said
Pet Peeve #1: Guys never ask girls to dance anymore. What gives? Somewhere along the line, guys learned that they don’t have to ask girls to dance… I think they should unlearn that and relearn how to ask a girl to dance. We like being asked to dance. It makes us feel special. Think giddy young girl at a high school dance being asked to dance by the popular boy who she never thought would ask her to dance. Yeah, that’s the feeling we get when we’re asked to dance. Keep it in mind, guys; it’s a good way to impress a girl. (Note: this is not to say girls CAN’T ask guys to dance, just that I think the guys should start doing some more of the actual asking.)
Pet Peeve #2 (which follows from #1 a bit): Hovering guys. (Well, girls do it, too, but that doesn’t affect me as much since I’m a follow.) Seriously dudes, a piece of advice: if you want to ask a girl to dance, ASK HER TO DANCE. Don’t do that follow-her-around-the-dance-floor-and-inch-closer-and-closer-to-her-throughout-the-evening thing. I promise she sees you and probably is trying to avoid you because you’re doing that. Man up and just ask her to dance.
spectaprod said
1) Unamused dance partners, if you don’t want to dance with me, say no, I can take it. Don’t say yes out of politeness and then basically ignore me as we dance.
2) Tell me “not this song” when you mean “not with you”. If you tell me not this song, I will come and ask you to dance later.
Laura said
Does #2 really bother you? I’ve done this at times, but only jokingly with friends I know well. I’ll usually bound over jumping up and down like an excited kid on Christmas implying, “ohh! Good song! Please? Dance now?!” haha. But then, I do get a kick out of being obnoxious sometimes…like when I make certain reluctant people interview on video….
But really, I tend to feel that when I know the person well enough sometimes words are superfluous and a smile and/or hand grab is all thats necessary. I’ll be sure to restrain myself with you though if you find it bothersome!
chrissyfer said
Number 2 bothers me when I don’t know the person very well. When I do know the person it is a different story because you have some connection already with that person and probably enjoy dancing with them.
The instances which I am referring to in this are when complete strangers do this to other people without regard to what that person was doing at the time. An example would be when I was at a dance and a lead was just taking followers by the hand out onto the dance floor when they were clearly engaged in a conversation or sitting out the song.
wenny said
i think dancing is great excises and a nice way to meet people. guys ladies love to be asked to dance no matter what there age. Go for it!!!!
Rows said
Here are some I can add:
- When a lead grabs my wrists and leads me by the wrists. NOT comfortable. I feel like a five-year-old trying to cross the street with mommy.
- When a lead uses his/her thumbs at all in the regular handhold required for lindy hop. I have gotten bruises on the backs of my hands before from my hands being squeezed in this fashion. It is not comfortable even if they aren’t squeezing.
- And one aesthetic thing is when a guy is wearing some sort of headband or rolled-up bandana around his forehead. It’s just ugly and looks horrible.
- Sweat dripping on me. It tends to collect below the bulb of the nose and then drip on my hand while in closed position. Also, sweat ending up soaking through to my bra that is not my own sweat (also happens from closed position). If you sweat that much, bring lots of changes of t-shirts with you!
- Overly forceful leading. I am small, and it doesn’t take that much force to get me to move a lot.
- On a similar note, I can’t stand it when a dance mostly consists of the guy spinning me and doing tangly arm movements. This is not fun. Neither is that dumb “washing machine” move all the beginners think is so cool.
Haha, I think I’m done.
jolownia said
I second Spectrapod’s #1. That is my biggest, and perhaps only, pet peeve when dancing. Even if I can’t follow every step, there is a 90% chance I’m going to smile and laugh when I mess up, and in my opinion, being able to laugh at oneself (that is, not taking oneself too seriously) is essential. It’s dancing! We’re there to have fun and make connections and feel good! Not to make our partners feel bad about being at a different level (of skill, or of interest) than we are.